Sevillan

Sometimes, particularly after bouts of prolonged unspecified pain, sometimes I feel like my body isn’t mine as my lips tingle and a virus makes its lonely way.

I lie, hot under the sheets and think of manipulating your body, the soft human fur over the slightly sweat-damp skin, the malleable hardness of your skeleton and its firm muscular grammar, I imagine grasping you and laying you on top of me like a pillow or a cat, and it is a sweet dream, as sweet as the dream that first drew together the word sweet, the sweet of bittersweet, and dream, the dream you can’t tell is unreal, and never want to wake up, this sweet and this dream, together. And I imagine or hear your voice singing, por favor, por favor, over and over til your eyes pierce me and I burst.

If I am desired in my dreams with no resentment, then it is possible. I have reached a place of acceptance, where the moths land and scurry along my skin, and I watch them, feeling love. Later as I lie gazing into the sky I watch unfold a vast pink rose on a teal field where the night stretches over like a duvet tent, and everything seems okay.

The Deli

As we stand and talk about bread
The various types
That the days conditions left,
Under the light

Of the sun which peels the day
Just like the last
segments of warm clementine
And swallows the rest

The materiality of you rises
With force to greet me
Through your mouth and other pieces
Petal-blue unblinking

I feel your embrace already.
Its a nascent form
Of seers insight to a body
Sensing the dirt

My mind’s soft worm burrows in
Feeling our heat
In this brown paper bag, and then
I take short steps out